O me O my…
Alright, you have read my posts about OTHER people, but am I “holier than thou”? I have just as many dumb stories about myself as I do against others. So in the name of fairness, here are a few of my own personal dumb adventures.
A few years back my dryer was on the fritz, and it happened to be around the time that I was broke as a joke. Trying to save on the green stuff I decided to fix it myself. I have a pretty decent knowledge of electricity and how it works from the navy, but never fixed a dryer before. Well, I narrowed the problem down to one of two possible switches in the back, but wasn’t quite sure which one it was. It is a good rule of thumb to UNPLUG any electrical devices BEFORE working on them, and you will soon know why. For anyone that is not electrical savvy, dryers use double the voltage of a standard TV or microwave, at 220v. I was tapping the two switches with a small piece of wood, knowing that wood does not conduct. My clumsy self brushed a knuckle across the main power line and got the whole shot right through my arm. I vaguely remember the spark jumping across the gap, sending me flying backwards into my hallway, and the wooden piece was thrown… somewhere. My twitching and spasms stopped after only about 10 or 15 minutes, and I could finally stand up again. No, I never went to the hospital, what were they going to do for me anyways? I did manage to fix the dryer, but the problem was not related to the two switches I was “testing”, ironically. DOH!
About one month after the above electrocution, I was in my shop changing a long fluorescent light above my head. I will repeat my caution from the last paragraph: UNPLUG any devices you work on BEFORE you try and fix them. I could not see the slots that the light bulb prongs had to go into, so I placed my fingers on each side to guide it in. Both of my fingers went into each socket at exactly the same time. The jolt went from my right hand through my chest, into my left and the bulb went sailing to the other side of the shop. (about 20 feet). Somehow I managed not to fall off of the chair I was standing on, that would have really made things worse. The dryer was definitely the strong shock, but that only hit one hand. This one went clean through my chest and both arms. My wife Cecilia was watching the entire time… what fun!
When I was about 17 years old, my dad, neighbor kid and myself went on a fishing trip in Wisconsin. It took us about an hour boat ride to get to our “secret” fishing spot, in a very fast stream. At the bottom of this stream were many gnarled tree branches and roots, something that would be dangerous to get caught in if one were to fall in. The motor was acting up, and my dad wanted to work on it. He told us to sit still because he would be hanging over the back to fix the propeller, and did not want to fall in. To further set the stage here the day was very nice, but water temperature was probably in the upper fifties, give or take a few degrees. To this day I do not know what possessed me to pick up my pole and cast it out, but the shake was enough to send my dad into the drink, head first. The amazing thing however, was seeing him fly up out of the water and into the boat, just like a dolphin jumping. Holy crap was he pissed! His $100 pair of sunglasses flew off his head in the fall, and there was no way to get them back. What a day that was… and people wonder why I don’t want kids. OMG
Sometime in 1997 I was a major party freak and liked to hang out in Tijuana Mexico. I lived in San Diego because I was stationed at the 32nd St naval base, and TJ was only 8 miles away. Being 18 years old, and Mexico having a no age drink limit… well you can see the attraction. One particular time, I was feeling a little froggy on the dance floor. Showing off for some girls, I was doing flips and spins and all sorts of stupid stuff to impress them(on stage). At one end of the stage, there was a table on the main floor, conveniently with two hot girls sitting there. I can only claim temporary insanity as I jumped off the stage, over the table, and hit the puddle of spilled beer on the other side. I wiped out onto my back, and sent a table, and two FULL chairs bouncing along the floor. The girls helped me up for some freakin reason, but I never got their number as I was too busy running from the policia… and this was NOT the first time I had tried (and failed) with this stunt.